Mission Statement generator

I always bust up when Apple brags about its 100,000-plus apps in its App Store, eight times that in the Android store. Yeah, yeah, lots of volume, but there’s a ton of junk in there too.

But I'm as big a fan of good junk as anyone, and am getting tons of laughs from an app called the Mission Statement Generator that is priceless in a Dilbert kind of way. The concept is simple: Desperate for a corporate mission in these difficult times that will serve as a guiding light to prosperity? No problem. Simply fire up you iPhone or iTouch and problem solved. 

Case in point, is this statement – generated at random: “We build trust and teamwork to proactively coordinate client-centric expertise and also assertively actualize enterprise-wide leadership through continuous improvement.” Who wouldn't rally around something so inspiring?

Or this one: “Our mission is to dramatically fashion client-focused metrics in order that we may intrinsicly (sic) disseminate equity invested scenarios while promoting personal employee growth.”  Yeah, that’s what I’m talkin’ ‘bout!

One last one (although the app seems to have an endless supply): “It’s our responsibility to credibly leverage other’s alternative processes and holisticly (sic) foster distinctive synergy for 100% customer satisfaction.” Duh.